Light
by psychshuleslover2000
Summary: A post 2x08 one-shot. I wrote it way back when and just typed it up. Lena deals with the aftermath of turning Lillian in and Supergirl comes to comfort her. "Being a Luthor meant she had to keep her nose clean one hundred percent of the time. Just one transgression, no matter how minor, would fuel the public to brand her to be just like her mother and brother."


A post 2x08 one-shot. It's been on my AO3 ( /works/10839120) for a while but I just brought it over here. Enjoy!

It was 2 a.m. and Lena Luthor had just assisted Supergirl in defeating the leader of Cadmus, who just so happened to be Lena's mother. Lena had sent her mother to jail and saved alien kind, and however undeniably good that was, Lena still didn't feel like celebrating.

Instead, she decided to go home, sit alone and drink. Now, Lena Luthor had never usually been one for alcohol; not in excess anyway. It dulled your senses, made your mind less sharp, and made people do stupid things; feel emotions they usually kept hidden. Being a CEO, having an image to uphold and, most importantly, being a Luthor, meant that Lena couldn't afford the side effects of alcohol. She couldn't afford to give the public a weakness to exploit. Being a Luthor meant she had to keep her nose clean one hundred percent of the time. Just one transgression, no matter how minor, would fuel the public to brand her to be just like her mother and brother. The Luthor name would forever be evil, and she would never be able to bring the company into the light where so so hoped it could be.

However, tonight-tonight she decided that, Luthor or not, she deserved the luxury of a few drinks. The luxury of feeling numb.

So here she was. Alone in her apartment and almost dangerously drunk. Because "a couple of drinks" had quickly turned into "so many drinks that Lena lost count." It didn't take Lena very long to remember the other reason she didn't drink as well. She was an emotional drunk, once she had gotten enough in her, and her mind quickly turned to the events of the day that she was trying so hard to forget.

She saved alien kind, turned her mother over to the authorities, and did objectively, good. But in doing so she betrayed the only family she had left.

And Supergirl. "God, Supergirl," Lena said aloud to herself. She could feel the iciness off of Supergirl today, the hesitance that wasn't there before. And do maybe the way she went about getting her mother arrested; going it alone and playing the part, delivering her "But I'm a Luthor" line, wasn't because that's what she needed to do. She just wanted to hurt Supergirl just a little bit like-

The doorbell rang and Lena looked up in surprise. She made her way to the door and opened it, only to see Supergirl. Her timing was too impeccable, and Lena had to smile wryly.

"Supergirl?" Lena asked. "Is there some kind of trouble?" Lena asked dazedly, somewhat struggling for words.

"I-no… I just wanted to… Lena are you alright?" Supergirl asked, concern on her face. Lena looked down at herself. She was wearing old sweat pants, a plain white t-shirt (she was pretty sire she had spilled some liquor on it at some point) her hair was in a messy bun, and her makeup was still on her face- probably significantly smudged. Oh, and, she realized, she was still holding her last drink. Lena sighed, understanding Supergirl's concern. She looked like shit. To be fair, she hadn't been expecting company at 2 am either.

"I...I'm fine. Just...very drunk," Lena managed. "Why are you here, Supergirl, at 2 in the morning?" Supergirl winced. Lena had said Supergirl's name with more venom than she had meant to, and Supergirl noticed.

Supergirl followed Lena into her apartment, which she noticed was incredibly clean, aside from the couch where Lena had presumably been drinking.

"I came to thank you," Supergirl said, "I know it's late but I figured you'd still be up."

"Thank me?" Lena asked. "For betraying my mother? For playing the hero and saving the city?" Lena asked sarcastically. There were tears in her eyes but she ignored them.

Supergirl looked at her almost in shock, "Lena you are hero! You saved all of National City's alien kind! You should be proud of that," Supergirl said, stepping towards her. She sounded confused at Lena's sarcasm but she said it so earnestly that Lena almost believed her.

"Ha," Lena laughed dryly. "Maybe. But I lost everything else today. Any... any delusion that I had a family or that...someone cared," Lena said. The tears were pouring down her face now. "And I was... so angry with you because you forced me to see it -forced me to see what I already should have known," Lena's voice was shaking and Supergirl was sure she was going to drop her glass at any second. She was grateful when Lena seemed to realize this too and put it down.

"Lena…" She stepped closer to Lena and tried to put a hand on her shoulder, but Lena shook her off.

"But you...you said I was good, and I wasn't like her. You, only you, believed me. Believed that I could be something other than my last name. But by being good I betrayed what was left of my dysfunctional family and that just makes me just like them doesn't it? A real Luthor," Lena spat out.

"No, no Lena. That does not make you a real Luthor. It makes you better than that! You... you're Lena! You don't have to be defined by your last name. You know that! Lena-" Supergirl took a deep breath, "has anyone told you what the name Lena means?"

Lena shook her head no, sp Supergirl continued.

"Lena means light. So...so even with Luthor at the last name, Lena is always going to shine brighter. Because your choices as Lena, as you as an individual, or what define you. Not the choices of the people who share your last name," Supergirl said fiercely.

Lena's soft tears turned into sobs, and Supergirl was relieved when Lena let her pull her into a hug and sit down on the couch. Supergirl glanced at the bottles lying near them, knowing Lena must've drank enough to give Alex a run for her money when she would drink. She looked down at the woman in her arms, knowing this is what happens when someone so broken inside tries to hold themselves together, alone, for too long.

"Shh...It's okay you're okay," Supergirl whispered rubbing Lena's back as she cried. It was unnerving, seeing Lena cry. She had never seen this side of Lena before, had hardly imagined it existed, but she should have known.

When Lena had finally cried herself out, Supergirl could feel her tense up in her arms.

"Lena," Supergirl chanced a whisper.

Lena sat up, wiping her eyes. She felt a tad more sober, and mortified.

"God, I'm so sorry Kara," Lena said, closing her eyes and taking Steadying deep breaths.

"Wh-what? I'm not Kara, what're you-" Supergirl babbled.

Lena managed a soft smile through her tears, "Kara calm down. I've known the whole time that you are Supergirl. Did you really think glasses and a cape would fool me? I had two friends and National City, and you both have the same kindness. I always knew."

"Oh," Kara said. Lena looked away, wiping her eyes. She was still drunk, but at least she wasn't crying anymore. Lena felt Kara move closer to her, and put her arm back around her shoulder. When Lena looked back up, their faces were impossibly close. Lena saw Kara's eyes flicker down to her lips, and without thinking about the consequences, because god damn it, what else did she have to lose tonight, Lena closed the distance between her and Kara.

The kiss was brief, but despite the alcohol on Lena's breath, Kara had never before been kissed with such a mixture of desperation and gentleness at the same time.

Lena kept her eyes closed one she pulled away. "I'm sorry."

Kara smiled at her, "It's okay," she said, pressing a gentle but firm kiss to Lena's lips.

Lena felt like a child, keeping her eyes shut but she couldn't bear to see Kara's Kara kissed her, her eyes fluttered open. Any clear-headedness that came with Lena's anger was gone, and she was just really, really drunk.

It was clear that Kara could see this too, because, with a soft smile still on her face, she started helping Lena to her room. Lena was half-asleep, already, by the time she got in bed and Kara was extra grateful for her super strength.

"Will you stay?" Lena asked, her eyes fluttering shut.

"Of course," Kara replied, though she knew Lena was asleep by then.

Kara walked out to the other room and cleaned up the empty bottles, putting them in the recycling. She did her best not to make any noise, but she knew it wasn't likely to wake Lena up, and anyway.

Once Kara had finished cleaning up, she found Lena's Advil and poured a glass of water, which she sat on Lena's bedside table. She then used her super speed to fly home, and grab a few things, and then she settled herself on Lena's couch. Lena had asked her to stay, and that's what she planned to do.

When Lena woke up, her head was pounding and one glance of the clock told her she was very late for work. There was, however, a glass of water and a few aspirins sitting on her bedside table, and that was all it took for her memories of the previous night to come back to her. Lena sighed and shoved her face into a pillow, which ended up hurting her head even further. So she reluctantly sat back up and took the medicine. Then she shoved her head back into her pillow, groaning.

She wasn't lying there very long, however, when she heard her door creek open oh-so-softly.

"Are you awake?" Kara's voice asked softly, and Lena only groaned, and lifted her arm, giving Kara a thumbs up.

She heard Kara move, and felt it when Kara sat down on the edge of her bed. Lena didn't move or make any effort to get up, so Kara just started talking again.

"I called Jess at your office to make sure you didn't have anything important and told her you got food poisoning and wouldn't be in today."

Lena finally rolled over, a soft smile on her lips. "Thanks Kara, but I'm sure everyone will figure out why I'm not there when they see the news," Lena said quietly. Kara nodded.

"How... how much do you remember from last night?" Kara asked. "You were pretty drunk."

Lena sighed, dropping eye contact again. "All of it, Supergirl. Sadly, drinking doesn't make me forget," Lena replied.

"Oh."

They stayed that way for a few more minutes-Kara sitting on the edge of the bed, and Lena lying on her back with her eyes closed, before someone spoke again.

"Why did you stay here for me," Lena asked quietly.

Kara smiled, "You asked me to. You are half asleep, but you asked me to. Besides, I wasn't going to leave without knowing you're okay this morning," Kara replied simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. As if Lena should expect her to care she was okay.

Lena was about speak again when Kara shot up. "Ah shi-" Lena heard, as Kara was gone into the other room in the blink of an eye. She returned a few minutes later with a sheepish look on her face.

"Sorry, I just almost burnt the pancakes," Kara said.

"You made pancakes?" Lena asked, sitting up. "I don't think I even had pancake mix in the house?"

"Yep, I went home and got some things last night-including pajamas and pancake mix. Also, I made you coffee," Kara said brightly, extending a hand to help Lena up.

Lena smiled confusedly at Kara. Even with all Lena's talk about Kara being her only friend in National City, she had never been expecting this type of kindness. She could hardly even imagine it. She took Kara's hand to get up, and didn't let go as they walked out to the kitchen together.

"Everything looks amazing, Kara. Thank you," Lena said sincerely, turning to face Kara.

"Of course," Kara said, beaming at her.

They sat down, facing each other, at Lena's little island in her kitchen. Everything did look amazing. Kara had made a stack of pancakes high enough to last Lena a week, that is if she didn't know how much Cara could eat. Lena's hand, walk to the counter, and brought Lena her coffee.

"I didn't know what you take," Kara said gesturing to the cream and sugar sitting next to them.

"Thank you, Kara," Lena said again, and that seemed to be all she could say this morning. She fixed her coffee then she turned back towards Kara, who was watching her carefully.

"Is everything alright?" Lena asked her.

Kara nodded, "Yeah, I just. I-" Kara's eyes flickered down to Lena's lips and back up again. "Did you mean it? Did last night… mean anything?" Kara asked, finally addressing the elephant in the room that they both had been avoiding. With the previous night acknowledged, the smiles slid off both of their faces.

"I, I know you were drunk and upset and-" Kara babbled, so instead of answering, Lena just leaned forward, reaching a little, since she was slightly shorter than Kara without heels on, and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"As long as you want it to, it meant something," Lena said to Kara, waiting-waiting for the rejection or fear or something. But never came. Kara just smiled.

"Good, because I was worried that it was just a heat of the moment or lapse of judgement or-" Kara didn't get to finish her babbling because Lena kissed her again. This time not-so-chastely, and Lena pushed her up against the counter. Kara's hands went to Lena's hips and Lena ran her hands through Kara's hair, finally resting them on Kara's shoulders as the kiss became slower and they finally broke apart.

Kara giggled when they pulled apart, making Lena smile for longer than she'd done in a very long time.

"Wow," Kara said.

"Wow," Lena agreed. Lena knew there was probably a lot to talk about. She knew that dating Supergirl wouldn't be easy. She knew that there was probably some unresolved pain from her drunk crying and rambling. She knew that both of them had their demons. But with the sun hitting Kara the way it was, with her looking at Lena so happily, with Kara's smile so bright-everything for once seemed like it was going to be okay.


End file.
